How to decrapify your stupid old computer

If you're an average user with a "slow" computer that you use to watch flat earth videos on YouTube, bitch about teachers in the class group chat on WhatsApp, or get radicalized by AI memes on Facebook etc., then the problem most likely is the software on your computer, not the physical device itself. And possibly you.

Here are some things you can do to help fight back, and protect your privacy at the same time. Lets assume you're using a dusty old Windows laptop. You can apply the same principles to any operating system.

Physically clean it

The thing is probably filthy and has years of oil and gunk from your hands on the keys and trackpad. Pick up some lens wipes for glasses and give everything (keyboard, buttons, screen, chassis) a good once-over with lens wipes. You'll genuinely be surprised how much crap comes off.

If you're feeling brave, you can open the laptop up and clean the fans. This is a great thing to do if your laptop runs hot, the fans are probably clogged with years of crud.

Remove things you're not using

You probably have loads of crap installed on your computer that you don't use. Start by removing things you're not using. Be absolutely merciless in this process. Remove every single thing you don't use, or doesn't look familiar. You can always reinstall something later if you really need it (you won't).

If you're on Windows, you probably don't need additional antivirus tools like Norton etc. Microsoft Defender is good enough, and should already be built into Windows. Run it once a month.

If you're feeling particularly zen, you could just completely wipe the computer and start from scratch. It's easy to do.

Remove startup items

Remove software that starts automatically when Windows starts. This is probably the number 1 culprit of your computer being slow. If you've followed the previous step of removing things you don't use, you hopefully won't have much to do here, but check it anyway, and again, remove everything that is not familiar to you.

Privacy-focused browsers

You're probably on Windows/Mac and you probably use Chrome.

Chrome doesn't block ads or 3rd party trackers by default. That's why you see ads on every web page you visit, and why pages take much longer to load. It also means your browsing habits are being tracked by 3rd parties who are buying and selling your personal data, and targeting you with ads.

The good news is you have lots of options here. Some browsers come with adblocking by default. Brave browser is one such example. It's basically Chrome with a built-in adblocker. Opera is another great option with similar features.

Other browsers like Firefox do a great job protecting your privacy by default, but doesn't completely block ads up front like the other browsers mentioned.

Adblock Extensions

If you want to stick with Chrome or Firefox (or Edge... do people use Edge?) you still have loads of great options for privacy and adblocking. Ghostery is one such example and one of the best extensions out there. I've personally been using it for years.

Take your privacy protection even further with Privacy Badger, another great extension that puts your privacy first. Sick of seeing ads on YouTube? There's an extension for that too.

Hardware upgrades

If your computer doesn't have a solid state drive... buy the fastest SSD drive compatible with your computer and install it. If your computer can take more RAM, find out the maximum amount of it can take, and buy the fastest compatible RAM for your device.

You can find out what upgrades are compatible with your computer from here, but you don't necessarily need to buy the stuff from Crucial. Shop around, or even look on eBay or classified sites. Someone might have exactly what you need for sale for peanuts.

These two upgrades will give you the most real-world performance enhancements, particularly the SSD if you don't have one.

That's about all I have for now, thanks for reading! I may do a future post about how to ditch Windows completely and bring you into the light :)